Family remembers son's spirit

Above all else, 19-year-old Jordan Ebner was known for his ability to love.

It is one of the things that his family will miss the most. Jordan was shot and killed at a party in Mukilteo shortly after midnight on Saturday, July 30, along with 19-year-olds Anna Bui and Jacob Long. A fourth teen, William Kramer, survived a gunshot wound to the chest, while a fifth, Tristan Bratvold, was able to avoid gunfire.

A Washington State Patrol trooper took the alleged shooter, Allen Christopher Ivanov, 19, into custody a few hours later.-á

Jordan's mom, Stacy Snitzler, has been a part of the Monroe business community for five years. The owner of Spa Mamas knows she has a long road ahead of her, but right now doesn't want to focus on her son's killer.

Right now she is focused on celebrating her son's life, remembering his heart and loving him for the exceptional young man he was.-á -á

Jordan had the benefit of two loving sets of parents; Stacy and her husband, Bryan, Jordan's stepfather, who live in Mill Creek with their 6-year-old son, Grayson, and Jordan's father, Brad Ebner, who lives in Lake Stevens with his wife, Nikki, and Jordan's 16-year-old brother, Jake.

To Bryan and Stacy, it is important to spread a message of love rather than hate, because Jordan wouldn't have wanted it any other way. Their son had an extraordinary capacity for love, in a way that was perhaps uncommon for a teenage boy.

He never hesitated to let his friends and family know how he felt. -á -á

"He loved everyone, and he wasn't afraid to say it,GÇ¥ Stacy said.

"How many teenage kids do you know that tell every one of their friends that he loves them?GÇ¥ Bryan said. "That's the kind of thing that we want people to know about Jordan, and that's why it's important to us that people not be angry and hateful ' that people really see the light that Jordan was and remember him for that.GÇ¥

Saying "I love youGÇ¥ was just something Jordan just did. It was second nature to him; an intrinsic part of who he was. What Stacy already knew about her son was confirmed at a recent vigil.

"Everyone that I spoke with said that that's the last thing that he said to them,GÇ¥ Stacy said.

"The last time I talked to him on the phone, I told him I loved him and he told me he loved me back,GÇ¥ Bryan said. "I know I will always hold on to that; I'm so thankful that I told him that.GÇ¥

Jordan grew up in Mukilteo and loved it there. Even after moving to Lake Stevens with Jake and his father, he continued to attend Mukilteo's Kamiak High School. He graduated in 2015, and began taking classes at Everett Community College in the fall. Initially, he was interested in aviation but had changed direction and was leaning toward becoming a precision machinist. It was a fitting career for her detail-oriented son, Stacy said.-á

He wanted to earn a decent living, and most of all, he wanted to live in Mukilteo. He enjoyed the beach at Lighthouse Park, and spent as much time there as possible.

"He had simple dreams. He was easily happy,GÇ¥ Bryan said. "He was such a practical kid.GÇ¥

Jordan was humble and low key, and didn't like people to make a fuss over him. Instead of asking for expensive gifts on birthdays and holidays, Jordan kept it simple. He might mention he needed socks, a new wallet or a blanket ' the softer the better.

"That kid loved him a soft blankie ' a soft anything,GÇ¥ Stacy said. "He didn't have an ounce of body fat on him,so I'm pretty sure he was freezing most of the time.GÇ¥

He loved his car and took exceptional care of it. While many teens might long for pricey, showy vehicles, Jordan was perfectly happy with "The Cam,GÇ¥ a 2000 Toyota Camry with a chipped up hood that boasts around 270,000 miles, Bryan said.-á

"He loved it and he kept it spotless,GÇ¥ he said. "You could eat off the dashboard.GÇ¥

Bryan was chatting with a few of Jordan's friends recently, and he happened to mention that he taught Jordan how to change the oil in the Camry.

"One of the kids looked over and said, "Hey, he taught me how to change my oil,' GÇ¥ Bryan said. "That's the kind of person he was ' everything you gave to him he gave back in some way.GÇ¥

At 19, Jordan had been out experiencing and enjoying his life, spending a lot of time with his friends.

"That's who he wanted to be with,GÇ¥ Stacy said. "I'm sure there are things that I will learn now about my son that I have never heard before, that will probably leave me in even more awe of what an amazing person he was.GÇ¥

Reflections of who Jordan was to become were visible in him even as a toddler. He was determined, particular and tenacious, and liked things to be a certain way. His favorite toy was a yellow peg from a child's construction set.-á

"He would just walk around with this little peg in his hand and just toddle forever ' that and a big fat Winnie-the-Pooh binkie,GÇ¥ Stacy said. "No other kind would do, so if he lost it, somebody was going out in the middle of the night to hunt down a Pooh binkie.GÇ¥

Later, he loved a cartoon called Teletubbies, especially a vacuum cleaner featured on the show named Noo Noo. It's no surprise that he loved the vacuum cleaner, Stacy said. Jordan was neat as a pin once he got older, organized and clean. He detailed cars for a living for a Mukilteo shop called Karmichael Auto Salon.

Jordan was 11 when Stacy and Bryan got married; Jake was eight.

"At the time I was gaining this amazing woman, and I didn't realize the impact these two boys would have on me,GÇ¥ Bryan said. "It's an honor for me to be their stepdad.GÇ¥

Jordan was sentimental; he liked to keep things. When he was around eight or nine, he, Stacy and Jake lived with Stacy's parents for a period of time. At one point Jordan came across a random section of two-by-four, so he painted a red and blue happy face on it and named it Bob. One night, the phone rang, and Stacy glanced at her mother's caller ID to see who it was.

"It was the weirdest thing. I've never seen anything show up on a caller ID like that before, but it literally had "asterisk GÇô asterisk GÇô asterisk, Bob,' GÇ¥ Stacy said. "From that day forward, we knew it was Bob who'd been calling.GÇ¥

Eventually, they moved, and Bob got packed away in a box of school supplies. Stacy came across Bob three or four years later, and sent Jordan a picture of the cherished childhood keepsake.

"He immediately came and gathered Bob,GÇ¥ Stacy recalled. "He remembered everything and he kept everything. Bob was a big deal.GÇ¥

He was a gifted athlete and animal lover; he called their dog, Destiny, "Big Girl.GÇ¥ He valued family and had a close connection with Stacy's grandfather. He had keepsakes from all aspects of his life, Stacy said.

"I haven't even gone through his room yet, but I'm sure that it's just going to be an amazing moment, because there's got to be so many crazy little treasures in there from everyone that's been in his life,GÇ¥ Stacy said. "He held on to stuff and he didn't take any of that for granted.GÇ¥

Jordan was funny, and had an endlessly dry wit that made everyone laugh. He sent Stacy a funny little text message after picking up Bob, to express his happiness over being reunited with the cheerful plank of wood. The treasured text reads, "It's been years mother. You have no idea the emotions that went through me when I laid eyes on him.GÇ¥

Jordan's silly, deadpan humor was second nature and loved by all who knew him. He'd often drawl, "Hey StaceGÇ¥ when Stacy called him, always smartly funny in all the best ways, she said.-á -á

"It's impossible to get into any conversation about him and not end up laughing,GÇ¥ Stacy said.

The family knows they have a complicated journey ahead, but feel fortunate that the loss of Jordan has drawn them closer together, Stacy said. Stacy and Bryan's goal is to continue to focus on the positive and to keep Jordan's memory alive by honoring his endless capacity for love. Having to tell their son Grayson was difficult, Bryan said, but the 6-year-old offered profound words of wisdom when he heard.

"He said if he was president, that he'd make sure that no guns could go to parties,GÇ¥ Bryan said.

"He keeps saying that,GÇ¥ Stacy added. "He keeps bringing it up ' "Mommy, the president should just make a rule that there's no guns at parties.' GÇ¥

Stacy and Bryan are beyond grateful at the outpouring of support that has come in since the shooting. Coffee stand One Cup Monroe collected donations and tips, and Bryan's employer, Whole Foods, donated groceries. A Spa Mamas client set up a GoFundMe site, while Snohomish resident and friend Beth Nier donated tips and haircut revenue.

It's been overwhelming but beautiful, said Stacy and Bryan.-á -á

"I just want everybody to know how much we appreciate everything,GÇ¥ Stacy said. "Nothing's gone without notice.GÇ¥

Jordan Ebner's celebration of life takes place at 1 p.m. Monday, Aug. 15, at the Rose Hill Community Center in Mukilteo, with a bonfire gathering at Lighthouse Park afterward. To help support the Snitzler and Ebner families, visit www.gofundme.com/2hgpns5g.

" Allan Christopher Ivanov, a Mukilteo resident, has been charged in Snohomish County District Court with three counts of aggravated first-degree murder, one count of attempted first-degree murder and one count of first-degree assault, all with a firearm allegation. The prosecutor has until Aug. 19 to file charges in Superior Court. He is currently being held in Snohomish County Jail.

A letter from Stacy Snitzler

My son was taken from me by a senseless act of violence. Words will never be able to properly express the emotions I have been experiencing since July 30th. I can say however that all of the feelings we are told that we will go through in the grieving process, hate and anger have not entered my heart. Jordan was the most kind-hearted and caring boy. He loved everyone around him and he wasn't ashamed or afraid to tell them every day how much. If you were lucky enough to know him, then you knew he loved you because he told you every day. This is something the world needs more of. Hate is like a cancer that spreads within us and sadly too many people don't understand that the cure is within us as well. When we focus on the negative, regardless of our intentions, we allow it to enter our hearts. We need to focus on the positive, however difficult it may be at times. My beautiful boy was taken from me. I will never get over that. I will learn how to live with it, and I will carry him with me forever in my heart. I will fill my heart with his love and kindness and let it overflow. There is no room in my heart for hate because it is full of Jordan's love. I am choosing to LIVE LOVE for Jordan and I am pleading with the world to do the same.