MOVIE REVIEW: 'Huntsman' sequel 'kind of sucks'

By Adam Pilskog

A-áfairy tale world where two royal sisters are fractured by tragedy, and one runs off, heartbroken, to live in a cold, icy kingdom. Wasn't that the plot of "FrozenGÇ¥? Well, it's the plot of "The Huntsman: Winter's WarGÇ¥ too. Who says Hollywood isn't coming up with any original stories? Oh, that's right, I did.

Written by a paradigm of a screenplay raconteur, Evan Spiliotopolous (no fewer than 10 straight-to-DVD Disney sequels, "Wanted 2,GÇ¥the recent "HerculesGÇ¥ reboot, the upcoming "Beauty and the BeastGÇ¥ reboot, the upcoming "Charlie's AngelsGÇ¥ reboot), the man is a writer of absolute garbage recycled material. Color me green with envy; what a brilliant gig.

This is where this film falls flat on its face. The story is dreck. It is illusory to be considered a love story, when it is nothing more than a fantastic opportunity to dramatically expand a fairy tale renaissance with nearly unlimited creative control (see "MaleficentGÇ¥). It could be summed up in mere sentences, which even in this genre is a bit disappointing.

This film is sort of a pre/sequel to the original 2012 "Snow White and the Huntsman.GÇ¥ It shows the back story of the Queen sisters and their estrangement, then fast-forwards straight past the 2012 film and picks up in the land of Snow White, conveniently keeping her out of the picture. The Huntsman's origins are discovered and the Queen sisters feud, leading up to an inevitable showdown. That's really about it. It's hard to know who to root for when Chris Hemsworth's smile is truly the only charming part of the movie.

Hemsworth reprises his role as the Huntsman in this grim Snow White spinoff, with Jessica Chastain as his love, the Huntress. Snow herself is nowhere to be found (thankfully), saving us the agony of seeing two hours of Kristen Stewart doing anything, but I just couldn't get behind his character carrying a film of this nature. Enter the dueling queens, Charlize Theron and Emily Blunt. They ooze overacting in this one, with dramatically enunciated speeches and tearful glances everywhere. Jessica Chastain joins the fray as Hemsworth's true love, although it's never quite the groovy kind of love that drives a more well-done vehicle effectively.

I did enjoy certain aspects of this film. For starters, it knows the limitations of its own solemnity. There is adequate comic relief, mostly from the dwarves (typical), and the mood is never too ominous or inappropriate for a mature target audience. It is treated like a fantasy film that is essentially eye candy and nothing more, and that's where it hits the mark.

The visual effects are top-notch and stunning with a perfect amount of creature placement and liquid metal-melting mirror magic that is just plain cool to watch. Theron relishes this opportunity, and although her screen time is limited, most of her scenes are morph-tastic.

It should come as no surprise that the director, Cedric Nicolas-Troyan, is an award-winning visual effects veteran, and iconic costume designer Colleen Atwood was behind the intricately created ensembles. I would estimate that this film will make the shortlist in these categories when awards season rolls around, and it is well-deserved.

The pacing is far too slow for my liking though, and there is a genuinely noticeable attempt to channel Peter Jackson with an epic and sweeping universe. It's just not that kind of movie, however. It's unapologetically a live-action "FrozenGÇ¥ for adults.

If you like Snow White, Charlize Theron, Emily Blunt and Chris Hemsworth, you will definitely enjoy this film. If you detest Kristen Stewart as an actress, you will appreciate her absence. If you were a huge "Lord of the RingsGÇ¥ fan, you might like some of the similarities, and if you're a film critic with an eye for effects and costume design, you will notice the exceptional work done. Otherwise, the film kind of sucks.